| Ricky247 |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 02:00 PM | Reply with quote #1 |
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Hey guys, recently I've realized I need sone direction on my walk with God so I thought I'd ask you guys here at the forum.
Lately I've been immensely sad... I've been heartbroken over life. I feel that I've totally failed in life and that I have nothing to look forward too. I don't know what path to take in life and either one I take someone tries to stop me. I'm really all alone and I've dealt with Anger towards people and just feel really Lonley. Also I fear that I'm making choices without really consulting God (in who to work with) and I've prayed about it and went through with my choice.
Basically, I had a rough relationship with my father (the wrong was not on my part) and I've been angry with him and wanted little to do with him. I've felt I've always been on my own, I even taught myself to drive. Anyways, recently my dad was in the Hospital and I told him, "Dad your still here and I want to give you another chance to be my Father, I want to work with you." He was happy and we sorta got on better since. But mornings in stone that may change.
But the thing is, I don't know if that choice is what God wants me to do[U]
(2) In result of these feelings of failure, anger, loneliness and despair I've stopped studying the bible, i.e. I don't read it as much. I don't pray as much either. I've had NO interaction with God and it feels like I'm alone. I pray almost everyday for a year (or 2) that he'd change things, but it seems like nothing ever goes my way. But not to mention, I have an "issue" with sin. In result of this I have an area in my life that I allowed sin in. And I think, maybe God can't do something because of the sin... I stopped it and still haven't seen change. Also, I know it's not right go to God just cause you want something, but it's hard to just go to God with all of the issues I'm in.
Also I'd appreciate it to keep me in your prayers... Any advice would be appreciated as well.
P.S. I'm sort of amazed because while I wrote this down my brother came in the room and said, "Ricky I watched Charles Stanley last night and he said, 'God can't answer your prayers if there's sin in your life. He'll hear your plea for forgiveness but not until you repent can he answer them, he wants to answer them but we prevent him." He literally told me that for no reason. Thank God.
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| idunno |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 02:15 PM | Reply with quote #2 |
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I can't reply right now but I know others will chime in. Just wanted to ask if you could stick around and participate in the conversation  |
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| lucid |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 02:21 PM | Reply with quote #3 |
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| Give up on believing in trite religious stuff dude and be grateful that you're not a starving kid in Africa.
You're already a strong guy who can handle himself, keep your eyes and heart open for a nice girl and fall in love. And don't ever listen to people who tell you what you can't do, LIFE IS TOO SHORT! Don't waste it doing what others want you to do, THINK FOR YOURSELF.
Go get your skydiving instructors license, I dunno.
But please, please try and leave this shell of religion, cast that nonsense off and be free.
OK, all this was just a spur of the moment expression towards you, if you want me to refer to something more specific then tell me.
Oh and live healthy  Eat healthy. You never know what the future will bring, science is going to be crazy soon. Like the difference between 1910 and 2012, only that progress will be multiplied and happen in a shorter time. The future is good buddy, stay optimistic! |
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| Matthias |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 02:32 PM | Reply with quote #4 |
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| I would actually advise you not to give up on your religion or put too much thought on intellectual questions at the moment if you have a supportive religious community. (A community that says worldly blessings will come to you if you are virtuous is probably not very supportive.) Either way my personal experience is that therapy can be very helpful. Learning to forgive your father will be helpful too, but that might not be psychologically tenable right now (although both therapy and the right community can help.)
It's also entirely possible that praying intensely for two years might have gotten you what Buddhist communities call third jnana, which is a stage of skill at meditation where people get super depressed and often stop meditating because doing so is painful. (I should clarify that I'm not talking about anything supernatural, which is why it's plausible to me that prayer to the Christian God could work as a form of meditation for these purposes.) I would go tell these people about your experiences; if it seems to match, the only way out would be more prayer. However, your interpersonal experiences with your family and so on are probably more likely; if this stranger option is right you'll have had a very specific set of experiences in your two years of intense prayer that should be pretty unmistakeable. |
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| harvey1 |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 03:10 PM | Reply with quote #5 |
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| I would suggest that you take some supplements that can help put you in a better mental mood. Just go to your local Vitamin Shoppe and they'll set you up. |
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| Archsage |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 03:27 PM | Reply with quote #6 |
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Certainly, certainly, you will be kept in our prayers, Ricky!  There's no greater time to pray for a Christian than through the times of their storms. And please don't forget that this is a storm, not designed to destroy you but allowed because (1) you can handle it, our Father won't give you more that you can bear, and (2) you will be the better because of it, assuming you endure victoriously until the end. Nonetheless, do not forget that greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.
But I suppose that's your concern isn't it? I mean, as you've noted, is God even near you anymore? The first thing to note is that you mustn't conflate actuality with feelings. Feelings are just that, feelings. And most of the times they are biological (not spiritual) in nature. There's some saying that I've heard that says things like "that's not love, that's just gas" -- feelings or emotions are largely biological. It's best not to use your feelings to determine your relationship with God, but to determine you relationship with your Body. If your Body feels lonely, who does it need? If your Body feels angry what hurt it? If your Body feels sad where is the hope? Examining your feelings not as definitive qualities of your spirituality, but as descriptive qualities of your current circumstance is a good first step towards being the better.
So don't let your feelings fool you. Keep in mind your feelings, what they are telling you, and then separate them from your knowledge, what you know to be true. But then, that's the easy part. The harder parts are what comes next.
You know what you should do, and you know how you feel. If they come in conflict with each other what must you do? Reject your feelings. Denying yourself. And that is the hardest, most psychologically dangerous thing to do. I know that, while struggling with my sexuality as a teenager, (and even today) denying myself was the hardest darn thing to ever do. And it hurts. Telling yourself that "yes you are angry" and at the same time fighting that anger and replacing it with something else, like, for example, love, tears people apart (at least, it does for me).
The worst thing about it is that God will stand afar off while you go through this. Remember, when Jesus was being 'tempted' no angel came to comfort Him until the end, when He succeeded on His own (standing in the foundation of the Scriptures). You feel alone because you actually are. Like a little girl who had their daddy hold the bike for them while riding without her training wheels suddenly finds that her daddy isn't there beside her but watching her from behind, you will be alone. But listen, if you crash and fall, you know your Dad will be there to pick you up again, fix up your scrapes and baby you until you are able to try again. Even greater still, you know that if you are able to ride that bike alone, your Dad will be overcome with joy at your achievement, that you applied what you learned to overcome gravity itself and gain a new skill that will be with you forever.
This is to say, during these storms you are meant to be alone, Ricky, because these are where you take all of what you know and come out the better for it, like that girl who comes out of her shaky experience alone with her bike. You know what you're supposed to do, but you're alone and you have to do it. And it's scary, I totally understand your fear. But you know that anger must be denied and replaced with love.
I guess what I'm trying to say, be it of any help, is that this is a challenge for you. You feel alone because you are alone; God is standing afar and watching you as you try to ride your bike all alone. The bike is your life and gravity is anger and your balance the love that you must keep in order not to fall (fail). But that shouldn't be a reason for you to not read the Scriptures and not to pray, but to keep at it fervently while applying what you already do know. And don't despair. Should you fail our Father will come and pick you up with your scraped needs. You may be set back and be babied for a while longer, but assuming you don't "run away from home" you'll be able to try again soon. And should you succeed you will be the better for it. Either way, you know that God loves you. In the same way, you should show that love to others, whether they fail you or not.
This isn't an issue of religion, but an issue of 'Ricky'. I definitely believe that you'll be able to overcome this test, and your accuser before God will lose once again, bro. Don't give up, don't despair. We're all praying for you and you will overcome until the end. Remember, the only possible way for you to fail, is if you stop keeping balance on the bike.
Anyway, I'll keep praying for you, bro, and please keep us posted! 
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| Lawlessone777 |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 03:34 PM | Reply with quote #7 |
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| Stepping away from the vitamins and other discussions with regards to your feelings, Ricky, I'd like to take a moment to sympathize with what you're going through and to tell you that everything will be okay.
I was raised by God parents when I was young, as opposed to my biological parents who I know now, and I lost my father when I was 13, and my mother took her own life when I was 19. In both circumstances I felt at odds with God, and angry with him. I felt like he wasn't anywhere and that he wasn't listening to my prayers. One thing I can tell you for sure is that he hears you, and he's screaming down from heaven that he loves you.
Sometimes we go through trials that seem too much for us to bear, and too hard for us to endure. But at the end of this dark road there is always a light. Over the past year my wife and I have endured massive financial hardship. Almost losing one income in Toronto of all places meant almost certain homelessness. We prayed, but it just got worse, we begged and pleaded for God's help, but finally everything came down to one fateful confrontation with her management staff. We were sunk, and we knew it, and we felt like God had abandoned us.
Lo and behold all of the political manuevering we'd done, all the planning we'd gone through to try and better our odds turned out to be exactly what we needed. We won the case, my wife was established in not only a higher paying job, but one where she had complete job security. We went to one neighbourhood in the Beaches of Toronto to celebrate and began to talk about possibly moving out of our cramped apartment and into something nicer. Suddenly this nice old lady walked up and literally offered us our dream home. An apartment that's in the most sought after neighbourhood in Toronto, that's huge, and that's unbelievably cheap. Though we endured great hardship, if we hadn't endured this hardship we wouldn't have been in the place we needed to be in order for our happiness to grow. And grow it did, my wife and I feel stronger together as a couple, and we feel stronger in God.
So hold tight, and keep your chin up. Even if you feel exhausted, and even if you feel like you're in the pits of despair, God will bring you through the other side and you will be in a better place for it. God something allows suffering, but it's only to get the infection out, to heal you in a way he knows you need. If he didn't, you may die, and so trust in him. He's the one person you can trust eternally. |
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| Chris9809 |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 03:47 PM | Reply with quote #8 |
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I can sympathize, really I can. My mother and father split up when I was 2, and I saw my father probably 5 times from the time I was 7 till the time I was 18. I never knew if he was alive or dead other than a small child support check I got. On top of that, my mother was married to a drug dealer for a period of time, and was afraid of getting a divorce because she had no where else to go. On top of that, the man was verbally and psychologically abusive, at one time telling me I was 'as worthless as my mother', when I didn't clean my room to his specifications. Given that he moved us to a place where our nearest family was nearly 5 hours away, and it was rough. At the time, I nearly gave up on God. I didn't feel I had a purpose, I just didn't want anything more than to get away.
Around this time a friend of mine introduced me to his mother who was Buddhist, and I watched as she would meditate for hours. So, being a teenager I decided I'd try meditation. Around this time, we moved back to my original hometown, and my family and my mom kicked my stepfather out, and my grandma sort of reintroduced me to Christianity. A few things here and there, and here I am. Meditation calmed my nerves and I think through that I feel I rediscovered God. I shut out the doubt, and it felt like it wasn't any time Jesus was like "Sup, where you been?".
On a side note, I can't help but often picture God and Jesus hanging out on a sofa watching American Football for some reason.
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| harvey1 |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 04:38 PM | Reply with quote #9 |
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Quote: Originally Posted by Lawlessone777
Stepping away from the vitamins...
I'm serious. For a few dollars you can take supplements that help to have a positive mood. It's worth a try anyway... |
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| johnBee |
| Posted 04/30/12 at 04:49 PM | Reply with quote #10 |
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Quote: Originally Posted by Ricky247
But the thing is, I don't know if that choice is what God wants me to do
I'm really not sure I understand the question. But... are you saying that you don't know if God approves of you're decision to forgive your father?
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| Noraaron |
| Posted 05/01/12 at 01:57 AM | Reply with quote #11 |
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| Ephesians 4:26 to 4:32 |
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| Rostos |
| Posted 05/01/12 at 12:01 PM | Reply with quote #12 |
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Hey Ricky, i am sorry to hear this. This is going to sound harsh, but it appears that you never really had faith to begin with. It seems like your faith was linked to your prosperity rather than true belief, when times are good, God is good, when times are bad, God either doesnt exist or isnt listening..... If you have true rock solid faith, it doesnt matter what life throws at you, that faith will stay. Dont get tied up in the emotional side of things which many people try to get you to. What good is it if you only believe when everything is good? This is a true test of faith. I have also gone through a very very difficult time, i will talk about it later. Trust me on this, keep your faith, try to resolve yourself from sin and you will come out the other side alot closer to God than what you were initially and you will probably thank God for putting you through this as opposed to had he not. That may sound strange, but that is how i am feeling now. God bless. |
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| lucid |
| Posted 05/01/12 at 01:00 PM | Reply with quote #13 |
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Quote: Originally Posted by Rostos
If you have true rock solid faith, it doesnt matter what life throws at you, that faith will stay.
This guy in the flock wants you to stay a sheep. |
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| Lightfoot |
| Posted 05/01/12 at 01:20 PM | Reply with quote #14 |
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Ricky247,
Your not alone. The feelings you describe and the problems within your family are quite common actually. People all over had to deal with those types of issues. Some bury it, others try and confront it head on, while others find destructive means.
Start thinking about it differently. Instead of seeing "hopelessness" start replacing this with seeing it as a "challenge"
Instead of seeing it as "depressing"-Start seeing this as a "learning process"
The other thing that is important is for you to find a friend you can confide in, and change one thing at a time and go slow. If need be, find a counselor or doctor to talk with and they can hook you up with someone to talk over your issues.
Remember one thing: The body like the mind loves routine. Get to bed on time, rise early and clear your mind daily. Eat proper and get the proper nutrition. That means, eat well, with the right types of food. Start your day in prayer and forget your worries. If you make a mistake and sin, challenge yourself, instead of condemning yourself.
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| lucid |
| Posted 05/01/12 at 01:26 PM | Reply with quote #15 |
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Watch Hitchens take on Mother Teresa's similar doubts.
You'll notice that the tactics the church employed to shackle her are similar to the ones you're getting from the people here.
The very doubts you have are being engineered by these guys to prop up your faith even more. It's like a cult. |
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